Well, I thought I would go ahead and post an update for those who care to read.
I woke up this morning and my first thought was, "I need to go delete that blog post." I couldn't believe I had posted such negative thoughts for others to read. Yet, I thought that perhaps it might just help someone. I have read of others' struggles and it has actually encouraged me to know that others were just as frail as I. So....I left it.
When I awoke, I was filled with a strong desire to pray and spend some time with the Lord. I knelt beside my bed and just talked to Him. It was such a sweet time. I found myself with a song in my heart, and picked up a hymn book to find the song that was in my heart. Then I began to just sing. Each page I turned had another song that fit exactly what I needed this morning.
Earlier today I told someone very close to me that I refuse to doubt what I know to be true. Just as sure as I know the sky is blue because I've seen it; and a baby's skin is soft because I've felt it; I KNOW that God is present with me in my life. I know that He is faithful and true. I know that He will never leave me or forsake me. I know He has a plan for my life. I know that I am HIS! I know this because I have seen Him work in my life. I have felt His divine presence. I have seen and felt His power and peace. Nothing in this world can compare to the peace that I feel when I am trusting Jesus.
Regardless of who is with me on this pilgrimage, I will follow Jesus. Everywhere He leads me, I will follow on.
I will have difficult days and the struggles I face will not just disappear, but I don't have to carry the burden alone. When days like yesterday come, I can recognize what it is. It is such a mix of physical, emotional and spiritual chaos. And yesterday didn't just pop up out of the blue. The struggle I had yesterday had been building for several days. But I was weak and unprepared for battle. Even though I had seen it coming...I was still unprepared.
I am so grateful for the prayers that were lifted up for me. Thank you! I felt them. Sometimes I am just awed at the power of prayer. Interceding for others, lifting them up when they are weak, is such an incredible ministry. Helping a fellow pilgrim fight the enemy and press on in this journey is what we are called to do. God sends help just when we need it. I have witnessed this over and over again in my life and the lives of those around me.
It is this evidence of God that convinces me to keep pressing on. True joy comes to me and fills my heart when I am completely surrendered to Jesus. This is where I want to stay.
He truly does give his servants rest. There is fulness of joy in His presence.
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